January 21st 1961
My darling Alan,
Isn’t it awkward to think of something to start off a letter? I’ve given it up so I’ll just have to tell you what’s been happening and why, when, how and which etc, straight away.
If this letter seems a bit funny to you it’s not your eyes it’s just that my head is none too clear at the moment. I got back from a party about half hour ago and just to make sure that you know I didn’t forget you the whole evening, I thought I would write at the first opportunity I got.
Now, I’ll tell you about the party. It was quite a surprise really. A friend of a friend usually gives me a lift home from evening classes. I forgot to tell this Vic that I had packed up evening classes for good and he came here Friday evening to see what had happened to me last week and he also invited me to this party of some friends of his. I told him about you straight away but the offer still stood, so I thought I might as well go. It was the first time I have been out, except one night to evening classes and one night to see Chris Barber’s Jazz Band since you have been away. I can’t help thinking how much better it would have been if you had come with me, but there it is. Still, think of all the years we’ve got to be together. I think it’s worth waiting seven months for, don’t you?
I quite enjoyed myself tonight. I thought I may have been left out of things rather, as it was a birthday party for one of a gang. But they were a smashing crowd and accepted me straight away. Even the dog that was hanging around there. Every time it saw me looking at it, it came tearing over and sat on my lap. It must have liked the taste of my make-up cos I have had about 5 washes this evening.
I caused quite a stir when I said I had never tasted a gin and it. I was given one straight away and then there was silence while everyone waited for me to taste it and give my verdict. It was horrible – the drink I mean. The party was a pleasant change from staying in.
I really must stop writing now. I feel so tired. I’ll drop the pen in a minute. I’ll finish this tomorrow night. Mum, Dad and Jennifer are going out so I’ll have the house to myself then. All the more reason to wish you were here. Golly, my head! I think there was too much gin in that gin and whatsit. Remind me not to drink anything stronger than orange squash at our wedding reception.
When I told mum Friday night that I was going to a party, she looked quite shocked and said, ‘Oh, I’ll tell Alan!’ When she knew I intended to tell you anyway she was surprised. I wore my cheong-sam for the party. You haven’t seen that yet have you? I like watching people’s faces when I wear it. They usually look, then look again, quickly. Then I either get rude comments or disgusted looks. Depending of course of the sex of the starer. In case you’ve never heard of a cheong-sam it is a Chinese dress with a very demure high collar and a not so demure split up the side.
At work on Friday we were discussing weddings. Y’know, eleven girls from the office are getting married this year. It made me go quite green with envy. Still, my time will come, I can wait.
I know what I keep meaning to ask you? Can you ride a horse? I first rode on holiday last year and loved it. But none of my friends around here will go with me. At least, one did but as she fell off first go she swears she never wants to look at a horse again, let alone ride one. When she told everyone else about her ‘terrifying experience’ none of them will come with me either.
I have been teaching Jennifer how to play gin rummy. Never again. She has been beating me nearly every time so far. I forgot one thing though, Y’know when you score, some of the cards count as 5, is it those below 5 or below 10?
I haven’t got much else to tell you apart from what you know already. I love, miss, want and need you so much. I’ve been in such a rotten mood since you left. I’ve been snapping at everyone. I am beginning to wonder what sort of life I will lead you. Y’know you haven’t had to survive one of my (many) bad moods yet – you’ll learn.
Love and kisses as always